Well, I put my warband together, went to TTN and had a fight. And lost. Again.
I have just started to play Mordheim with the Warhammer Guys at TTN and I decided to play dwarves.
Mordheim is a cross between the fantasy world of Warhammer and the skirmish style game of Necromunda. If you have absolutely no idea what I am yammering on about try the links and have a look see.
Essentially, you control a warband looking for a substance called wyrdstone in the ruined city of Mordheim. You fight other warbands for control of these lumps of wyrdstone which can be traded to give your warband gold with which to improve its lot. All the while your heroes and henchment can earn experience to buy skills or try to obtain characteristic advances.
Yes I am a grown up. Yes I like playing with toy soldiers. It beats watching ‘Loose Women' or ‘Emmerdale’ on TV.
Anyway, I nipped into Games Moneyshop and bought a few miniatures that looked like good characters and brought them home to paint.
I am pretty proud of the paint jobs, though a couple of the minis still need to be finished off. But I was happy.
This Monday night was the second night of Mordheim, the previous Monday I had played with my dwarves and I lost. Twice.
Though to be fair I only had 4 in my warband and I had been stupid in the initial outlay. In Mordheim you get 500 gold pieces with which to buy your warband and equipment. I went the munchkin route and tooled my group out with lots of cool stuff, that cost a fortune and hence I could not afford too many in my warband. It was pointed out to me but I stubbornly decided that I would plough on regardless of the consequences – its what a dwarf would do, isn’t it??
Ahhhhh, the naivety of innocence. All the other warbands had about 7 to 10 figures and at least half had bows. Dwarves can only move 3 inches, mostly everyone else moves 4 inches. My dwarves had pistols that shoot 9 inches (my engineer helps them shoot this far as pistols can only normally fire 6 inches) while bows can fire 24 inches plus. Can you see a pattern developing?? Yup, my warband get to become full blown pin cushions by the third round.
So last week I got trounced, first by the ratmen, the skaven (nose twitching little bastards) and the second time by the orcs (green skinned smelly bastards). Mind you a number of us were learning the rules and I think some things were stacked against my troupe due to inappropriate forgetting of advantageous rules. Bugger.
This week I fought the undead, and the undead won. Arse. Feck. Drink. Feck. I had bought another figure so I now had 2 troll slayers. My warband is up to five.
Unfortunately in the previous week my first troll slayer got really smacked hard and ended up in with a pit fighter who took one look at him, laughed and gave him a Glaswegian kiss that hurt so bad the troll slayer had his movement reduced to 2 inches. My leader also got seriously smacked but just ended up with frenzy.
The latest foray was after I watched a good old grudge match between the undead and the orcs.
The game seemed to be fairly even for a while but eventually the vampire and her groupies not only wiped the orcs off the board, but killed the orc leader. Not finished there, the undead decided to really rub salt into the wounds but raising the orc leader as one of their own.
I ended up fighting a different group of undead. Their vampire leader had the skill Sprint so he could run triple distance, a whole 12 inches. By the third round I had just moved close to a wyrdstone token when the vampire strolled up to say hello, leaving his zombies still at the edge of the table. Grrrrrrrr, went my dwarf leader as he went into frenzy and stupidly charged the vampire who had frenzy as well. Only his attacks were sitting at 4. Frenzy doubles your attack characteristic, So while my mighty dwarf had the massive number of 1 attack doubled to a whopping 2 plus 2 hand to hand weapons gave him a grand total of 3 attacks (not Bad at all) the vamp had a grand total of 9. Arse.
I almost got the bastard. Almost. But I didn’t and he put two of my dwarves out of action in as many seconds. Meanwhile, his zombies were still shuffling up the board.
I caved in and ran like the spineless chicken shit I was.
With his warband rating of massive and mine of piss ant size I got mucho extra experience plus I found some slaves wandering around Mordheim (silly billies) and one decided to join my warband. So now I have another to swell the ranks pushing my numbers now to the staggering heights of 6.
Next week, I will mostly be playing Blood Bowl. And I will put up a report next week on the exploits of the ‘Wasteland Greenskins’. Huzzah!!