Friday, 28 July 2006
I have read quite a few of David Gemmell's novels including Legend, Waylander and the Bloodstone series. A real 'boy's own' writer with a mature dark edge.
I await some of them being made into films.
The BBC have a report with links to other relevant sites. Click here to go to the BBC site.
I have put together a few pointers on the does and don'ts in the 41st millenium. Some I have rogued and adjusted from the 40k forums on the GW website, others i have kinda made up, some ok and some not so ok.
If you have any further suggestions, please leave them in the comments box.
Advice for Imperial citizens in the 41st millenium
- Asbestos gloves do not give any added protection when using plasma weapons
- Friendly fire…….isn’t.
- ‘Terminator tipping’ is frowned upon.
- Do not challenge Ork speed freaks to a drag race, unless you are a Blood Angel.
- Ordo Soritas do not take kindly to being referred to as ‘bolter bitches’.
- Do not use flamethowers as cigarette lighters, campfire lighters, or ‘added special effects’ at an imperial entertainment event.
- Likewise do not use a melta weapon to microwave ready meals.
- Squigs are not ‘meals on wheels’
- Tau do not taste like chicken, nor do kroot
- The Crozius Arcanum is a holy implement for smiting the Emperor’s enemies, not a sex toy.
- Land raiders are indeed ‘bullet magnets’. Use wisely.
- Gaunts are not pets.
- Necrons are not cybermen, and will not say ‘Prepare to be deleted’.
- There are no ointments for a scarab infestation.
- Titans are not to be used for ‘dance offs’
- There is no room on a rhino for spoilers, under chassis neon lighting, sport rims, extra large exhaust pipes, dump valves, or turbos. Unless it is a Blood Angels rhino, in which case the only stipulation is there should be no fuzzy dice.
- No fuzzy dice or air fresheners are allowed in any imperial vehicle.
- Do not refer to the Machine spirit in vehicles as the ‘Ghost in the Machine’
- Necrons are NOT controlled by skynet.
- Do not throw sticks and ask a Space Wolf to fetch. His reaction often offends
- There is no point in torturing Slannesh followers. They only enjoy it.
- Followers of the Blood God do not appreciate being referred to as Quorn berserkers.
- Mr Lordi is not a Bloodthirster. He is the lead singer for Lordi. There is a minor difference.
- Blood Angels will not be in a good mood if ‘Dracula’ is quoted to them in an over the top Romanian accent.
- Dark Angels are not ‘Alter Boys’ nor are they transvestites.
- Ultramarines are not extras from a bad American or British elite forces movie.
- Ultramarines do not take kindly to being referred to as ‘Gay’ or ‘Beardy girls’.
- Deamonettes of Slannesh are not ‘goers’, nor should they ever be propositioned. There are no STD clinics in the Emperium. You have been warned
- The taint of Chaos is not an STD. Avoid at all costs.
- No in-vehicle cd players. This only encourages “the Best of Queen” to be played constantly.
- Venerable Dreadnoughts do not like it when people call them Vulnerable Dreadnoughts.
- The Eldar Avatar is no longer scary. Assault cannon his ass!!
- Do not place any ‘I am a heretic. Purge me’ stickers on the back of Inquisitors.
- Never, ever quote Monty Python in front of Inquisitors. Imperial Inquisitors do NOT use fluffy pillows or the ‘comfy chair’ during interrogation. You have been warned.
- Powerpoint(tm) does not ignore armour saves. However, you must make a morale test at -5.
Thursday, 27 July 2006
I am also closing the first poll of the blog and the results below are as follows
- Pen and Paper RPG------------- 3 votes
- Computer RPG ------------------7 votes
- Boardgames ---------------------6 votes
- Card games ----------------------7 votes
- Tabletop Miniature games -------2 votes
Hmmmm. The old style RPG in this very unscientific poll has taken a minor hammering as has tabletop games. Boardgames come out very well as does computer RPGs and card games.
I suspect ease of use, speed of play and interactivity have something to do with this.
Please see the new poll for more voting fun!!
Part of me says "serves you right for the amount of money you charge for a couple of pieces of plastic" and another part of me worries that if it all goes kaput then how will i maintain my GW games fix??
I don't think they are goning to go away any time soon, but it is slightly worrying that they keep putting the prices up when the prices for models are already over-inflated. Staff get a 50% discount - that's a hell of a discount - on GW stuff. But then again they are on fairly shit pay.
I am rediscovering 40K (much to the dispair of my wife and bank account) and am building up a space marine army and a chaos space marine army (even more rolling of eyes from the wife), though i am getting a bit of a yearning for either necrons or tyranids (NB- keep wife away from kitchen knife set and make sure hammers and miniatures are both inaccessible). I also have far too many eldar and orks at home but have never 'filled' them out with vehicles etc. God, so many miniatures and so little time to paint.
At TTN we will be creating a narrative campaign for the August month based on the Medusa campaign. A few of us have already registered and logged our first battles.
In Northern Ireland one problem has ocurred where the GW shop is linked to the Northern Europe operation while NI is still, technically, part of the UK. I and my friends have all registered for Edethor (the UK territory), but i don't think the shop can register our games as Northern Europe are fighting over another territory. Heyho, no gaming in the shop then. Its like they don't want us to turn up or something.
If anybody out there can clarify this i would be very pleased. I may even venture into the shop and ask.
I will put more info up on our campaign soon and if any of you lot wnat to join in keep your eye out on this blog and on the TTN Forum in the TTN Open board section
Wednesday, 26 July 2006
Well, if you have been poping in every so often you will have figured out that i have not been updating.
This is because
- I am a lazy bastard.
- I could not be bothered.
- I had too much going on to have time to update a bloody blog.
- It felt like too much hard work.
I had a lot of expectations for this blog, and still do. My inspiration will return and then things will be back to normal.
Thank you for coming back.